I wrote in an earlier post http://wp.me/p4dqE8-8z about two appalling episodes that shocked my wife and shook, but ultimately didn’t bother me. I had the security then of a loving wife to fall back on, and I felt a lot better about myself at that time, which is probably why I was able to brush off those incidents. How differently would someone else have reacted, or even myself, if I had been that shy, insecure figure I had been before I met Trish?

I had very supportive parents, a doting live-in grandmother, a good brother and sister, and a few friends. I rarely dropped my guard with friends, though, and would keep my thoughts and concerns about my other life with all its difficulties, insecurities and fears well hidden. I sensed people didn’t want to be bothered by my problems. They didn’t know what it was like to wake up to the same face – a face I hated – every day. This was no mask you could take off and hide. It was everpresent, visible and part of the fabric of my life.

But my point in this post is that we all need to reach a point where the constant stares, occasional comments and awkward episodes shouldn’t bother us. Easy to say, of course, but it’s something I worked on and managed to deal with pretty well.

All of us have challenges we have to face at some stage in life – it’s how we deal with them that will define us. Take it from me, sitting on your backside and hiding from the world never works. It just makes you angry, bitter and resentful. Don’t turn into that person. Don’t be what I was for so long. Trust yourself and other people. Believe me, it will be well worth the effort.